Living with Autism is no easy feat. It is like being in a room full of people and still feeling you are all alone. All of them moving their body, making noise, the face changing with every word they speak and they also look at you. It is difficult to make sense of anything that’s going on. It is just too many things at once, and worse is all of them looking at you expecting you to look at them. All I do is stand as still as a rock not meeting their eyes showing I don’t care, but I am really scared.
Wanting something and suddenly feeling lost with words and not knowing how to ask for it. Out of desperation I cry out loud, throw things around and bite myself. Don’t know which of this behaviour got me what I needed. So I repeat all of those behaviours, whenever I wanted something.
I am interested in knowing everything that’s around me. And like to learn new things. But I have no idea how to tell you that. I don’t know how to tell that I am done with colouring cookers.
First time I met A , I found a child lost in a world of his own. His way of expressing anything was by throwing things around and biting himself and laughing aimlessly. But what I also found by the end of my observation was his willingness to learn new things. And also that he was done with colouring cookers.
We introduced Maths and English to him and slowly the “behaviors” started vanishing. He could speak or rather repeat whatever we tell him, but what changed was he also learnt to say what he wanted in one word. The reward we get for all these is an eye contact from him, time to time and a smile of acknowledgement. And that is our cue to know that we are on the right track, and we are in this battle together in a differently wired world called Autism.