If not now, when?

together

Women Empowerment refers to increasing and improving the social, economic, political and legal strength of the women, to ensure equal-right to women, and to make them confident enough to claim their rights, such as:

  • freely live their life with a sense of self-worth, respect and dignity,
  • have complete control of their life, both within and outside of their home and workplace,
  • to make their own choices and decisions,
  • have equal rights to participate in social, religious and public activities,
  • have equal social status in the society,
  • have equal rights for social and economic justice,
  • determine financial and economic choices,
  • get equal opportunity for education,
  • get equal employment opportunity without any gender bias,
  • get safe and comfortable working environment,

Coming to think of it I fail to understand when and how women ever lost these rights? If you see decades back women always had these rights and they knew they have it and used it appropriately. A seismic shift in the attitude of people should have happened over a period of time. Now whatever was the cause of it, religious, political, situational… the sad part is nobody saw it coming. Even worse, it was let to happen.

Women’s day is celebrated every year, where one day in a year everybody talks about women empowerment, treat them with respect, show love and it goes on and on……. Next day it is forgotten and everyone eventually minds their own business. We rather celebrate a human day. And we all decide to act like humans, so that the whole issue of inequality doesn’t even exist. Man and woman are both born with different characteristics. Both stronger in their own way and that’s how it is meant to be, Nature likes to keep the balance.

 A women is born physically different from a man, she has the right blend of strength with grace, courage with compassion, wisdom with vision and tenacity with tolerance above all this a nurturing instinct. Nobody can take these qualities away from her unless she gives it up herself. All the messages talking about giving a woman confidence, courage, back them up to prove themselves etc.… etc.…. amuse me. Why should we wait for someone to give us what is there within us? Why should we lose ourselves and then try to find ourselves again? So ladies and girls, let us stop expecting others to stand up for us, instead stand up on your own. And if you fail, it does not matter, bounce back. Let it take time, it does not matter. Nobody is keeping a count. Do not play the victims card.

It all starts with a decision how you choose to live your life. There are lifestyles that either support or damage success.  Create lifestyles that support your success. Do not get addicted to approval and have a thick skin when it comes to rejection.( no” is just someone’s opinion, anything is actually possible.)

To all the women out there, just remind yourself that you are good as you are. You don’t have to wear a designer dress to look good, but when you walk in, look like you own it. Stand as tall as you can, shoulder back, head held high.

Never miss to make eye contact with everyone in a room when you enter and when you do it, do it with an engaging smile. (Remember you are a woman, grace and compassion is what you are born with)

Hand shake, make it strong and firm even if you get a wimpy one.

Sit down with grace and don’t hesitate to take space. Never cower.

Be resilient and admit that you are not perfect. (That’s the law of universe; nobody is born perfect admitting that does not make you small.)

Be the best in what you choose do!  Being a homemaker does not mean being jobless, it is also a decision, I would say, a rather tough one.

There is no force equal to a woman determined to rise!

This little light of mine, I am gonna let it shine………

 

sunrise

Open the news paper Monday morning and what you see on the front page” Kerala actor raped in her moving Audi”.

Just got back from a trip to Kerala. My father insisted as always that he would drop me to station and he did. As we were waiting I could see the tension in him as he was looking around to find women who would be travelling along with me in the same compartment and found none. Finally one lady walks in and he has a sigh of relief as he confirms she is traveling to the same destination and more important in the same compartment. They had a brief conversation on how girls need to be more careful now a days and by then the train arrives. As I settle he says bye to me not before asking me to cover myself well as it will get cold soon. I’m more or less used to this, as it’s going on for the last two decades. Today’s news just confirmed why fathers worry about their daughters no matter how old they are.

We are in the age of the Aquarius. It is said to be the time when women will rise. It is the time when we will come to the awareness of female strength. And one can see it all around us. Mary kom, P.V Sindhu, Sakshi Malik, Saina Nehwal, Sania Mirza, our Dangal girls Geetha, Babitha , TV Anupama IAS and many more. Now this does not mean we create a matriarchal society. We don’t want either, let us just chuck the patriarchal/ matriarchal nonsense. It is just high time we bring up our kids as “human beings ” just a good human being and not just as a “boy ” or a “girl”.

A boy need not be brought up saying he has to take care of the girls in his family. Instead he can be brought up by teaching how he should respect a woman and elders be humble and do his own work. Do household chores together. Help each other and watch what you speak, even if it is to the beggars on the streets. Have conversations with them and help them understand what they want to do with their life and guide them towards that. Let them chase their dreams, help them to be expressive. Be strong and  also sensitive,so that you are sensible enough to face the challenges. Most importantly, tell them boys can cry too as they are also human beings.

To the girls – a girls body goes through so many changes as they grow up. Now that cannot be a reason to start helping them to build a negative self image people. Kids are meant to go out and play and that applies to girls too which will help them build their reflexes. This helps the child to react appropriately to any kind of situations.Give them appropriate clothes so that they don’t have to feel conscious when they run or walk. Yes, I mean the sports bra for teens. Bring them up as human beings. Be humble, respect everyone, be polite, be strong, do your own work and do not wait for others to help. Help them find their strength and guide them to that direction. Their life purpose is not just to find the right guy and set a home. Let them chase their dreams. And more importantly bring them up to believe in themselves, no matter what challenges life throws at them. More importantly teach her that their dignity and purity does not lie in her vagina.

Is love overrated?

I am a sucker for romance. No one enjoys a love story, no matter how silly it may be, more than I do. Everything I’ve ever read or seen has taught me to believe in love’s existence, and that eventually, we’re all meant to find it. Every time an Ana was united with her Christian, or a June meets her Roy, or a Rahul/Raj met his Simran/Pooja/Anjali, I fell in love with the idea of love.  And God forbid if  I happen to watch a Romeo and Juliet or  Qayamat se Qayamat tak where there is no happy endings, I cried for days.

For me love is for those who have the audacity go through the grind of romance, fun, passion, craziness, boldness, pain, happiness and sometimes stupidity all at the same time. And I believed that being loved like that was my birth right, and the universe owed someone like that to me. I guess this is what made it so difficult for me to find love in this universe. And being a logical person on top to that, ruined it further. I know I sound a bit confusing, but I figured out that I am someone who swings between two worlds. An imaginative world and a totally logical world. This logical way of thinking should have set it during my growing up days when I realized that, that kid of guys don’t exist in real world.

So of course I researched and here’s what I found. Love is any micro moment in which we share a positive emotion with another person — mother, sister, soul mate or stranger. It’s marked by a bio behavioral synchrony that unfolds across two bodies and brains at once. You’re not only sharing a feeling but also body movement, like nonverbal behaviors, and there’s a mirroring of biochemistry and neurofirings. There’s a mirroring in what you can see and also what is unseen but can be detected with different scientific measures.

But also, people can’t experience these micro moments unless they feel safe. Loneliness and depression and anxiety are enough to make people feel unsafe when they interact with other people.  One can make another feel safe by  planning fun things that allow you to experience these micro moments, which serve as booster shots. You do actually need to be proactive about creating opportunities to share positive emotion. And believe me this works.

Now this made so much sense to me as much as the movies and the books did too.

This led to me thinking what if some of us weren’t meant to find love outside of our own selves? What if life didn’t throw a hero our way? Is it possible to be a heroine without a hero anywhere in sight? Like no knight in shining armor!

The version of love will then be one that revolves around mutual respect, understanding and compatibility in contrary to kind of head-over-heels, passionate, inconvenient, all-consuming and often devastating love. When you give a relationship so much of yourself and it still isn’t enough, it’s very draining.

I only wish everyone were also prepared for this side of the reality while growing up. That instead of being constantly assured that their knight in shining armor was somewhere on the horizon, they were also been told that it was just as easily possible that he didn’t exist and that they have to do their own rescuing. I am glad I was brought up by those few strong women who told me stories about a girl who doesn’t fall in love, is happy nonetheless, has great sex with a man who she respects and who respects her back, makes babies, goes on exotic vacations, sometimes alone and sometimes with him, and lives happily ever after. And the girl (the heroine) in these stories was always typically charming, hardheaded, determined, and polite. Remembers her manners but will drop them on a dime to teach someone ‘What’s right’. And yes she would always be a dusky girl with beautiful wild eyes and hair and with a killer smile too. This more or less explains where my logical brain comes from.i-dont-want-a-knight-in-shining-armor-just-a-man-in-boots-and-plaid

Bohochic look

 

Bohemian style often referred to as “boho” or “bohochic” is a style of dressing that was popularized during the 1960s and 1970s. Looking at the style I am sure you can trace the roots back further. The key ingredient to get the style right is to do with free and flowy fabrics.

In today’s world Bohemian is applied to people who live unconventional and usually artistic carefree life. Even though the original “Bohemians” were travelers or refugees from central Europe (hence, the French bohemian, for “gypsy” And these girls looked sexy, nomadic, spirited and delightful simply because they never really bothered about fashion.

That was for the facts….

I love this look for its comfort and ease, and it gives me enough room to experiment with my creativity. It is proven that the clothes you wear set the mood for the day. It also influences the psyche of yours and the people you meet. It changes the way you look at yourself and how others look at you.And also it changes the way you  behave and others response to you .So I usually go dramatic when I want to be left alone to do my work the way I want to. And believe me, that works! 😉

Few things you need in your wardrobe to get this look

Neutral-Colored Ankle Boots / Strappy shoes – they look awesome with dresses and skirts too.

Chic Head wraps and Hairbands– Hairbands are a great way to add glamour and fashion to a bad-hair-day ponytail and I can vouch on it.

Printed Palazzo– here I am wearing a palazzo with side slits (yeah you are right, for the extra drama)

The crop top – They are quite versatile, so you can find a way to spot them by  pairing it with different bottoms for different looks.

Chunky. Earthy Jewelry– I love them, though not worn here as the top is printed. But they do add spice to your bohemian look for sure. The more unique the better they look. I usually pick them up from exhibitions.

Cross-body bags or a back pack – are awesome because they keep your hands free.

Oversized sunglasses– to make that statement!

Oversized, Patterned Scarves -Very important to give any outfit that extra laid-back, earthy, chill boost. And also saves you from sun at times.

And above all of this, the attitude!

“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I am not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.”

Yes, that’s the bohochic  for you 🙂